I mean it’s not that bad he just doesn’t give her attention that’s it, literally not abuse. He gives her food, shelter, educations. In this type of relationship it just means they’ll be strangers with no attachment in the future. Nothing else.
It's common for the victims of rape to distance themselves from the child that was the product of their trauma. It doesn't mean that they hate their child it's just hard to be in the presence of someone who is the live evidence of what happened to you specially if their way of dealing with the situation is to pretend it never happened which is the common thing in male victims.
Um that's still neglect, he should have appointed a guardian to love and care for her if he made the decision to not be in her life.. growing up without a family/parent or community that raises you negatively affects children bro (so I think it's pretty bad n inexcusable)
Not justifiable but understandable. Saying "neglect" is a bit harsh in his context because he's only emotionally distance to her. He's not starving her.
He just need proper time to heal. There's no point of blaming him
I see and I kinda get it... But I'm still not there
Okay so maybe I'm not sympathetic enough to him as a rape victim? Maybe because he's male? Which is really bad, I know. Am trying to be understanding tho. I can't relate to what he maybe undergoing? So it's good to know that he's behaviour is justified (?) I mean, seeing it from his perspective.
On the abuse part, I still stand by that. neglect can be considered as abuse. Emotionally speaking, he neglected her. It's good that he's supporting her with other important aspects but in a developing child an important factor is still the emotional support from a parent. As a child the first thing that you look for is the love coming from your parents and when it isn't there, I mean, when you can't feel it or see it, it still raises doubts. Then it creates inferiorities and basically if there are no other sources of love or emotional support, it fucks you up, sometimes for some people. And there was that scene in the first chapters where he was being rude to her, I think? That scene in the garden? Tea time? Too lazy to check. Lol. Seriously tho, emotional neglect is still neglect.
And it is sad to think that traumas of parents from the past directly affects their children. It's quite unfair considering they were not the source but merely a result.
I'm not trying to put blame on him, I think. And I do think this story would progress in a way where he'll eventually heal and be able to express his love for both Blanche and FL. So, I can't wait for that and how the author would tell it.
So, yeah... Thanks for this interesting convo I'm learning
Tell me one thing if god forbid you were the victim would you even want that child? It's easy to speak from a bystander point of view but put yourself in his shoes for second and tell me how you would have behaved.
Also regarding neglect he did appoint a nanny for her to give her the love he couldn't but as you saw that woman was a b****. For me as a woman with four little angels, I would have not even given birth to the child and would have had it aborted. Because I know I wouldn't have been able to love that child.
Okay so, he has trauma from being raped. And he doesn't trust women because of that. And probably seeing Blanche reminds him of that dark and painful past.
But hear me out here, does it excuse him of neglecting his child? Almost to the point of being abusive? Because, ya know, abuse doesn't just mean the physical? Neglect is also a form of abuse. And I would understand his dislike, maybe even hate, of the Queen because her previous self might have acted or gave off the same vibe as the old Queen. But, there so many ways he could react without being physical. Because, small violence like that done because of some trauma can really escalate if not addressed properly and immediately. If this was some real life dark themed story, the father is in some serious trouble in becoming abusive and a real villain.
I mean, we all have our own traumas. We also have our own way of dealing with it. The problem arise when we don't face it properly because we end up hurting those people around us and ourselves.
Anyway, this is some real interesting shit and I'm excited for future developments.