SOOOO My understanding is that the mom would constantly tell him not to be like the men who left her. So he equated that with sex, and sexual feelings. Meaning: Him wanting to have sex was him being those men which made him feel guilty because he didn't want his mom to feel like he was leaving her. SUPER TWISTED THOUGH.
Yeah so like the last person said he tried to follow all the rules in the book and not be like the men his mother brought in but I don't think it's sexual feelings towards his mother but like a normal boy would he gets sexually aroused when he sees certain things and when he jerks off he feel guilty for breaking one of the rules his set for him self and he sees himself as a vile person for having sexual desires and feelings
Okay so let me get this straight (lmao not rlly);
Did the mom actually rape her actual fvxking son? Um holysh??? That's disturbing excuse me??????