hope u found a better friend . be happy (▰˘◡˘▰)
I have one now but the different now is my world doesnt revolve around her.... I dont trust her either... And in the back of my mind i always preparing myself to get abandoned again... But i enjoy her company.. I dont mind spending money nor go out of my way to help her with everything.
Since im just one of her other many friend.. I dont have any high expectation... The funny things is, when i want to cut her off, she always come back... Make it harder to leave..
I dont really have many close friends. But i really enjoy her company because its easier to communicate with her about everything.
She was my only close friend but its not the same for her.... Living is sure very complicated.. Cant wait to die someday and leave everything behind... I hope when i died i wont have any funeral bcs it will feel shitty seeing people pretending to care when im gone.
I really bad at expressing my emotion and open up to other people.. I was taught to supressed my desire and give up on things on i want... I was taught to supressed my anger and swallow my grief... To keep everything bottled inside... Even when i like someone i will never express my feeling bcs i afraid of rejection... Even when someone told me that they love me... I never believe them... I just cant. Im already 25 but i still cant fit in this fucked society. Even when i tried to change i just got anxiety and my fears just grow...
I have family, i have friend, i have a comfortable bed to sleep in.. I have a job with well pay... But i still unhappy and i dont know how to fix that... Maybe there is something wrong with me... Asta from black clover once said 'as you keep living you will lose reason and hope but as you keep going you will pick up new reason and hope'
I guess i'll keep living to find new reasons and hope Although at this moment i was miserable
I cant never write this to anyone in real bcs it will make me feel ashame of myself for being attentiin seekers when everyone else probably enduring the same hardship. ..(〜￣△￣)〜(▰˘◡˘▰)
Bro you've been through some shit. Have you tried maybe going to therapy?
exactly what happened to me i was like depressed because of my best friend she stoped our relationship without explaining anything to me i was always feeling sad i even stopped eating for 3 days , well it was not too long ago so yeah when people break a relationship for no reason it really hurts ( i don’t know if you understand all my comment , english is not my first language)
Should i? I thought everyone go through the same thing.. This feeling is normal...
Funny things is, i once met therapist during high school and it didnt go well.. I just felt shittier and i regret talking about it. It make me ashamed of myself u know... People dont need to know what im battling inside of my head.
But now when im an adult.. I always consider in going to therapist but i just thought maybe i just normal... Everyone going through the same things... I still can keep going eventhough i feel miserable
Bestie you english is good. I also not an english speaker and my grammer is a mess.. As long no one point it out... We are fine.
It feel teribble right... How fast people changing and we can detect the smallest change but we wont say anything because we want to keep them. But you always knew that they got tired of u...
When we love people to much it will be easier to get betrayed. But thats not ur fault... Its better to live without having expectation to people we like.. If they gonna go... You just have to let them go.... You just need to believe in yourself to get through this because at the end of the day the one who wont leave is you. Treat yourself preciously... Dont expect other people to do it bcs you will get hurt.
oh thank you !!!
What hurt the most is when someone is suddenly change and distancing themselve without notice and you stood there wondering what did u even did wrong. You blame urself and start crying every single night asking why you never enough..... The thought of losing them feel like your world falling apart and it scared the shit out of you. Thats why u keep following them even if it hurt... And when u finally lost them for good, u just feel empty...
Even after knowing the reason being ignore- it just doesnt change anything... It just sound like excuses and it doesnt heal ur wound at all...
I've been at shiho place so i know how hard to get through the day and how alone i feel.. How my world was falling apart and i hate when morning come. I was young and got attached to my bestfriend.. Give everything to her and she betrayed me... Ignore me and then broke my heart. I used to cry every night wondering what did i even do wrong. Why does she turn her back when i need her the most... I was alone...
I had to change school bcs i was to depressed.. After i moved, she called me again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name being honest... It doesnt justify the pain i had to go through at all..