I agree. The mental effects of being abused don't just magically go away just because you realize you're being abused... the entire reason many abuse victims stay with their abusers is they are too afraid to leave, they don't have the means to leave, or they are somehow tied to their abuser (financially, because of children, etc.).
Hilise was abused and brainwashed for so long and it makes absolute sense that it would take her a long time to figure out how to change and break free. Istg I get so furious when people call her weak, because those people have likely never suffered so they just pass judgement without knowing anything.
the comments keep criticizing her for being too weak and wondering why she took so long to take revenge. i think it's realistic for her to take 3 lives to finally wake up because not clearly she was a very insecure person before that wanted her family to love her so she tried to please them in her previous lives thinking she was in the wrong, she also had a very shy and anxious personality so it would be weird if she suddenly came back with a strong personality in the first try, she needed those lives to gain confidence in herself. abusive relationships are tough and toxic and you always feel like you're in the wrong and that you deserve to be treated that way so I understand her character completely