okay so definitely an unpopular opinion but

Holachica May 24, 2021 9:06 am

Before reading: A VERY! IMPORTANT! NOTE!

To whoever is going to read what's pretty much an essay, please don't just read two sentences of my comment and hop straight into the replies and spray poison.

Let me be very, VERY clear on this. I am NOT hating on on Qiu Yu for not realizing that he also played a part in the relationship's demise--I can understand why he's like that. I mean, when the person that he loved and thought he could trust pretty much slapped him in the face with the classic "yeah I had a woman on the side", Qiu Yu rightfully had the reasons to absolutely despise that sort of trashy guy. Still, it does irk me.

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Okay let's begin. Remember, this is purely an opinion. Not one of spite, not one of a hater. Just someone who sees the whole thing from a bystander's perspective, and wants to talk about it.

With regards to their past relationship--Qiu Yu was in the wrong too. I'm not justifying Yao Jian cheating. Let me make that clear. His ex had made the ultimate transgression--knowingly cheating on Qiu Yu and seeing another woman on the side, marrying her, and etc. etc. with her. That is screwed up--he can go to hell for that. Just seeing Yao Jian's face in the manhwa, and his gloating look, makes me want to sucker punch him to seventh heaven. But this isn't about my personal feelings towards Yao Jian, but an objective view...ish

It irks me a little... just a little, that Qiu Yu doesn't fully recognize that he played a part in the relationship ending, too. This really became clear to me in c79, and later on close to the end when the ex (Yao Jian?) had his flashback in his car. In Qiu Yu's flashback, he comes across as very petty, and passive aggressive in his speech. He was annoyed from not getting what he wanted (holding hands) so he says "If you want to break up with me in the future and date a girl, just say it. We can break up." That's toxic. You don't say those things to someone you're in a relationship with. You simply don't. Throwing a temper tantrum would be cute as a child, but as an adult? The answer is obvious. Yao Jian, at that point, hadn't even done anything wrong.

He also questions Yao Jian about his marriage blind-dates, doesn't hear what he wants to hear, and gets upset. This seems justifiable, until explicitly learning what we do near the end of the story, with Yao Jian's flashback (as he sits in the car, looking at photos of Qiu Yu), that Qiu Yu had marriage dates too--and from the way it was portrayed, he was almost flaunting them, wanting to see Yao Jian jealous. Yao Jian himself thinks, at the time, 'I don't know what is it you want to hear".

It's always weird when partner A tries to make partner B jealous. Though portrayed as cute in so many stories (and maybe it's cute the first time, but from context it seems that this wasn't the first time Qiu Yu had mentioned a blind date) it's chilling when boiled down. How would partner B, really feel, knowing, that partner A was going out with someone else? Keep in mind that partner A tells partner B this knowingly--in fact, partner A want to see partner B upset--for their own satisfaction and validation. It's quite manipulative, and when partner B doesn't react the way they want, partner A is upset too. But how IS partner B supposed to react? If B reacts badly, then everyone calls B toxic, and if B reacts calmly it, suddenly B doesn't love A anymore. In the end, no one is happy, like with Yao Jian and Qiu Yu here.

Sure, Yao Jian kept the relationship from his parents, but Qiu Yu also kept the relationship a secret from his own family. Neither of them were open about it. Though Yao Jian had at least had a lengthy fight with his mom about it, Qiu Yu never took the first step.

Also, to put Yao Jian's marriage into context, Chinese society puts heavy, heavy emphasis on filial piety; i.e. being compliant/faithful/loyal to your parents. Traditionally, children are brought up to be deeply respectful to their parents and to do as they say. His mother greatly resisted his relationship with Qiu Yu when she accidentally found out. With her coma, Yao Jian was at an impasse Maybe she was going to die--and what if her last memory was of their fight? Marriage is a big deal. It seems silly from a Western perspective, but the emphasis put on continuing the family line is no a joke in the older generation.

Yao Jian ended up wanting the best of both worlds, but the road leading up to that wasn't one person's fault. Qiu Yu was not innocent either. The relationship deteriorated on both their faults. Perhaps, if Yao Jian's mom hadn't found out, their relationship would continue as it had. Each keeping it from their families, their relationship like a lukewarm cup of water.

Responses
    ZelAn May 24, 2021 9:11 am

    Is Qiu Yu the MC? Who’s the male lead here? Im a new reader, someone who fucking hates cheating and cheaters the most aside from murder. Just angers me, it feels unsettling in my heart.

    aggravated seme May 24, 2021 2:17 pm

    Tbfh I haven’t even read this yet and you’ve convinced me

    Holachica May 25, 2021 11:54 pm
    Tbfh I haven’t even read this yet and you’ve convinced me aggravated seme

    asdbasjkdv LOL

    Holachica May 25, 2021 11:59 pm
    Is Qiu Yu the MC? Who’s the male lead here? Im a new reader, someone who fucking hates cheating and cheaters the most aside from murder. Just angers me, it feels unsettling in my heart. ZelAn

    Qiu Yu is the MC.

    Btw I'm not justifying Yao Jian (the cheater); he's a piece of trash. I'm just looking at their relationship as a whole, and the MC's own role. Before Yao Jian had been driven by family pressures (his mom accidentally found out, the two had a huge fight, she subsequently dropped into a coma) to cheat, Qiu Yu wasn't exactly an angel either. IMO he was like one of those petty, vengeful girlfriends who get upset over nothing--their relationship hadn't exactly been solid on either side.

    Usually, the cheated trope goes with the victim being an angel, and the cheater being heartless trash. Here, though, while the cheater still remains trashy (he tried to keep both the MC and the woman), the victim wasn't exactly the best in the relationship either (although he didn't deserve to be cheated on, ofc).

    ZelAn May 26, 2021 1:40 am
    Qiu Yu is the MC. Btw I'm not justifying Yao Jian (the cheater); he's a piece of trash. I'm just looking at their relationship as a whole, and the MC's own role. Before Yao Jian had been driven by family pressu... Holachica

    That’s fucked up. Does the ML like the woman?
    Also what does the ML look like?

    Holachica May 27, 2021 4:52 am
    That’s fucked up. Does the ML like the woman? Also what does the ML look like? ZelAn

    NOOOO. Qiu Yu and the ML are a whole other situation. Yao Jian is the ex (not ML)--and he eventually divorces the woman anyways (the woman leaves him, good for her).

    The thing about Qiu Yu and his ex' (Yao Jian's) relationship is that Qiu Yu was really petty, and got upset and internalized a lot of unnecessary things; happy one minute and upset for what seems like no reason, the next. Hence my comment on their relationship having been unstable, even prior to Yao Jian's cheating.

    That aside though, the manhwa itself isn't bad. Don't worry, this isn't one of those dog-blood story. Yao Jian the ex isn't that big of a part--mostly showing up to cause trouble and be irritating. (〜 ̄△ ̄)〜 ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ノ~

    ZelAn May 27, 2021 6:34 am
    NOOOO. Qiu Yu and the ML are a whole other situation. Yao Jian is the ex (not ML)--and he eventually divorces the woman anyways (the woman leaves him, good for her). The thing about Qiu Yu and his ex' (Yao Jian... Holachica

    Yeah I found out a bit ago that he wasn’t the ML THANK GOSH