Im scared that I'm existing with no purpose and it's not gonna end well for me. Probably going to end up like my parents with a 9-5 jobs and no hopes or experiences. Then take my last breath regretting. I'm scared that after my death I'd probably regret not taking chances and that I could've led a better life with a better end,probably I am in an alternate universe. I gave up on fun and love to follow a dream that's not even mine.
So yeah- can't share it with people who know me because it sounds too negative
I'll die before "figuring it out"
One step at a time. Hope someday u can follow ur own dream:>
Have you tried doing different things? Taking a different approach? If you are still stuck in the same place with no progress then maybe you're not trying to lead better life? Because effort pays off.
Also im just stating my opinion, really not taking any rude tone haha ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
Alright if you have advice just give it to me
I don't knwo what I want to do in the future (job) and I have to decide by the end of this month so I can start applying for scholarship, I am worried I won't be getting a scholarship as well which would mean I won't study at the university I want to
I am worried about not figuring ort what to do, or wasting my potential for nothing
I am scared I would come to like someone who will betray me and I'm scared I won't let go and they would take advantage of me, I am of the pros who comes to lien me at one point will come to ahte me,
I can't keep up with school cz I have responsiblilties some other places which makes me too nervous to actually get to work
At one point I could not bring myself to write English essays because I was too scared my teacher would know about my opi ion or jusge me for it, and I still can't write because the thought that someone I know could read my writing terrifies me soo much I end up just holding a pen and staring at a paper for hours
This makes me so worried cz it satrted to manifest in exams and it takes me so much time to get over it and start writing in an exam, it's like my brain shuts down on me and I sometimes start shaking or heating up
(to give you a sense of it I got soo red one time a teacher freaked out she thought i was passing out and tried to send me to clinic)
I can't bring myself to do anything because what if I don't do it perfectly and what if it doesn't turn out well, and would they judge me fir it is what scares me most even though I KNOW I shouldn't care, I tell myself that I don't care, but I don't knwo my brain and body just won't listen to me those two little bit he's don't likw me I guess
I am terrified of failing or making mistakes not because of anything but because I'll be judged for it
I alos have this weird fear that I would be run by a car whenever I walk by one that is driving one the road, (I have zero trust in anyone who is driving its like some stranger would hate me enough to run me over just because I am walking)
Also something knocked on my window last night couple of time and when I looked out through curtain I saw nothing, then it went onto the roof and it was crowling there for a while that was pretty creepy but I was too sleepy to check it out
I want to sleep properly man and have a good rest taht just gets me right back on track
(imma say I'm surrounded by lots toxic people so ya)
Lmao thats one rant.
But hey im not gonna say 'dont be scared, trust ppl. You gotta believe in yourself' cuz that aint gonna change anything.
Stop wasting time, keep studying, take breaks, look ahead at the long run and you will want to do something. If you want something you gotta work for it, there aint no easy way. Its alright if you fail. My writings have been rejected so many times but i still have to get over this phase until it gets published. So its alright cuz failure is progress. Just work hard so you wont regret it and you wil know that you tried your very best. Dont give yourself time to doubt yourself, use it to do something that will help you. Shoo now. Go do it.
Yes mom
I'll try? I guess
There's nothing wrong on being scared in everything but haven't you thought that u're wasting ur time that way? It's okay to make mistakes, to explore and try anything. I'm not good in english but Im still using it. Who cares if my grammar is incorrect?
U see, it's good that u r now thinking of your future but if let it all the time there's a possibility that u may lose what 's ahead of u right now.
Man I wish I could do that
But soo many things going on right now I don't even know what the frick to do
Do it one at a time or else it will keep on piling up. The choice is urs. Its either u conquer it or let it conquer u.
I
I'LL DO IT WHILE CRYING AND NO ONE CAN DO ANYHTIGN ABOUT IT AT LEAST I DID IT
now trying to figure out where to start because lotsa work to do uwuuu
Honestly I just want a pause botton on my life rn
Jutd a couple of days or a couole of hours os I can breath and maybe just not think about nayhting so I can start anew after wiht a fresh mindset
But know
Honestly at this point good keep is a previlege
There's no such thing unless u do it willingly. They say "u'r the master of ur life". Now, if u want to take a rest, then rest. If u think u really cam do it despite on trying ur best then quit.
Lol no can do
Both options would gain me an ass whooping form my parents
Now thas a good girl
This turned out to be a therapy session. (im clapping hands incase my emoji doesnt come)
???