Wow! Another ace/aro~ I'm also quite interested in this question, and I'm actually in a SUPER similar situation...But I wouldn't exactly know how to respond to your specific situation. Forgive me if I make assumptions as I attempt to trip through advice, for you and me, really.
For me, relationships are always about giving and receiving. And it has to be an equal exchange (maybe not all the time, but it should balance out in the end). I mean equal. So it sounds to me like you aren't "receiving" as much as you are giving. This could be an actual fact, or it could just be the way your love interest works (like if they're cat-like or a tsundere. I know the person i like is super hard to interpret). Either way with the situation, you have two options: 1. Work to change the way you see "receiving," especially by considering the different forms of giving that others might have compared to your own ways of showing affection. 2. Resolve to end things.
I know you wanted to know "when do you KNOW it's good to end it," but maybe that's overdetermining things to eventually END. I don't know how much you are hurting. If it's not worth it to you, don't hesitate to put yourself first. But if there's a part of you at all that wants to keep things going, as a fellow asexual, you may want to think about trying to make things work just for practical reasons. If they are verbally or physically abusive, obviously things have got to stop. But sometimes the pain you feel isn't because of any clear cut traumatic act or anything....I'm sorry, this isn't helping. I'm confused myself about when is the right to break it off. Maybe I'll leave that to other people.
You sound very distressed. And I'm really sorry that you don't seem to be getting clear answers, even when you confront your love interest. That can be really painful. My suggestion is to step back and redeem old bonds with friends and family, and be with yourself for a bit. Remind yourself of why you thought you were good enough in the beginning to present your love to them. What about you are you proud of? What about you is a great and meaningful quality, even if the person you like doesn't seem to take notice of it? If you can remember to love yourself, then I think you can remember why you love them :3 I know, it sounds cheesy, but that's the best advice I can offer! Stay strong, friend. I'm rooting for you!
Hi there friends. I have been aromantic for all of my life, but have recently developed a crush. I have asked said person to their face if they like me, and they've never replied. But as two asexuals, we've done everything from holding hands to sleeping together in the same bed. It has been a few months since I confessed, and it weighs heavily on my self esteem that I might just simply not be attractive. Personality wise. Physically. I'm starting to think I what I'm doing to myself by liking someone is an experience gone sour. Can anyone share any red flags for when it is time to give up on a crush? Keep in mind, I'm asexual, so anything involving sex isn't necessary. Thanks! (づ￣ ³￣)づ