To be fair, the other guy was asking a lot. It's kind of a dick move to use someone to re-live your trauma. He needs a therapist; not a fuck buddy.
he actually wasn’t asking him a lot, the seme is a sadist himself. but yes he definitely needs therapy not dick
This scene: Let's have rough sex but not too rough because I've been raped recently but rough enough that it helps me work through some complicated feelings. But I'm not going to tell you any of that before we have the sex, and I hope you'll just understand me through osmosis or something because I don't plan on actually telling you anything. Whoopsie. I threw up because holy freaking shit, this feels like rape. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that lil tidbit? But I still want sex. I hope you're not turned off by the whole vomit thing. My bad.
I don't know about you but that's a lot to unpack on a random one night stand. We feel for him because we know his back story and we understand where he is mentally.
This guy knows none of that and just assumed he was into rough sex. I'd be pissed too if I was just looking for a good time and ended up with a headcase.
Hmm no, the scene was,
^Let’s have sex, yes? Awesome, but oh by the way, just letting you know, if it doesn’t look like I’m enjoying it don’t worry and keep going, ok?
*Oh, I see, you want rape play, you pervert, awesome!
^Huh, wait a minute, what are you doing? Wait no, that’s not what I meant-
*Shut the fuck up
^Ok, ok, ok, wait, can we just, wait, hold on,
*You’re so tight
^Hold on, please- *throws up*
———-
Then Mr Seme is a cunt to him because he for one, he was annoyed that the guy threw up, and two, he didn’t get to play out a rape fantasy he basically pushed the guy into. The uke never said he wanted to do rape role play, never said he would agree to rape role play, the seme just went straight into it without 100% making sure the uke was on board, without getting a safe word, without any kind of reassurance that is needed before doing something like that— why? Because he didn’t give a shit. He basically pushed the uke into a scary situation because of a ‘misunderstanding that wasn’t really a misunderstanding, it was just him coming to a conclusion he liked’ and then was annoyed that the guy made an inconvenience out of it all. He acted like a spoilt brat. And when the guy tried to reassure him that he didn’t throw up because of him, but because he was raped before, the seme just gets pissy and says ‘did I ask?’.
Is it healthy for the uke to search out a one night stand instead of therapy? No, but what the fuck else is he supposed to do? Ever lived in South Korea? I have. There is so much stigma about rape and therapy- and that’s just for women! How do you think they treat men who go through that? They don’t. So you’ve got a severely traumatised guy whose brain is functioning in survival mode, whose acting out in a way to somehow cope with it all. It’s actually a very common coping mechanism what he’s doing. Again, is it healthy? NO, but wtf else is he gonna do?? He’s got no support at all, from anyone or anything. Right now, he’s just trying to get through the day.
And this seme is a sulky, spoilt, entitled asshole with no sympathy at all. Boohoo, I didn’t get to live out a rape fantasy with some stranger who I didn’t even listen to properly and now I’m upset. What, you got raped? So, did I ask??
Jesus.
Rant over.
this!!
You brilliant muthafucka (づ￣ ³￣)づ
Blondie only wanted a one night stand, not to be a therapist or a savior. I understand he reacted badly, but I don't know, mc and us readers probably are expecting a bit too much of a dude who just wanted sex.
Mc said "even if I say no, keep going" and he does as he was asked, then we can argue that he should've used a safe word etc. but he didn't have any negative intention. They should've talked better, especially the mc.
From what I read from the chapter, all the uke is looking for is sex, he only mentioned his past because the seme got all pissy at him throwing up. He looked incredibly desperate to go along with everything the seme wanted, even performing all kinds of acts in order to get the seme aroused again- at the semes demand. The seme only had a problem with the hook up when he pushed shit way too far without any proper communication and couldn’t continue his hookup. The uke was never demanding, and never treated the seme like a therapist or saviour- again, only mentioning his past because the seme was annoyed at him for throwing up. Then he broke down (kinda acceptable given the semes behaviour)
The problem is- if we remove this particular uke and his trauma, the semes actions would still be just as horrific.
Say if he took another guy, and that guy says the same thing ‘if I look like I hate it just keep going’, for whatever reason —maybe he’s been told in the past that his expression during sex doesn’t look excited Idk— and the seme did exactly what he did then, being the sadist that he is, rushed into thinking that meant doing a rape role play, not discussing a safe word or boundaries or how far he’s allowed to take things or if pain will even be apart if the equation etc etc, his actions would still be as gross.
Yes, obviously we as readers have sympathy towards the uke because of his history, but that is not the only reason why the seme is horrible. His reaction to the ukes past experiences is disgusting, but that was really just the horrible little cherry on the horrible little pie that was the semes behaviour during a one night stand.
It worries me the amount of people who can excuse this mans behaviour. Like, really really worries me.
Be safe out there people, never suggest or accept this kind of play without finding someone you trust and sorting out boundaries and safe words. And even in a vanilla hook up, you should never be treated this way, should never have to do something you don’t want to (this includes someone constantly begging you for something you’ve already said no to. No means no. It’s not an invitation to bug someone until they say yes. Yes under duress is really just a no). Even if it’s a one night stand with a stranger, you should still be respectful and respected.
Mc was looking for a guy to have sex because of his trauma, so yes in my opinion we can say he wad looking for a "therapy" in a random dude who on the other hand was only looking for some fun. By saying this, I don't want to say his reaction to mc's story was ok, he was rude and insensitive but I can understand if he felt like it was too much for him. They're strangers, so he's not really supposed to do anything for him. And he was ready to simply leave after that, it was mc who asked him to stay and wanted to have sex at all costs. So he was demanding a lot in my opinion, and I'm not really talking about sex in itself, but the reason why he needs sex.
About the role play, yes he had to talk about it first, but as I said above he took the all situation in a lighthearted way, he heard "even if I say no keep going" and he kept going even when he said no. He's not the horrible man he seems to be in this chapter.
And yes, of course communication is always important.
But then the same could really be said about the seme then, if that’s the point you are making. You’re saying that just the mere fact that the ukes trauma has influenced his decision to have sex automatically makes the seme a therapist, whether he knew it or not... but, the seme is a self confessed sadist. Depending on who you ask, sadism can be at the result of past trauma as well, it’s unlikely that his sadism is just something he was born with and was most likely formed due to outside forces. I’m not saying whether that’s the case or not, or whether it’s even important, I’m just saying that it’s a two way street, and I think it just makes your point obsolete. You can’t just say ‘well, he was treating the guy like a therapist so he’s just as guilty’. No.
My biggest issue is with the semes behaviour with the rape role play mess. And it doesn’t matter about the ukes past, that shit just doesn’t fly with me.
I think we’re gonna have to agree to disagree here because I just don’t think you’re getting what I’m putting down, Vice versa.
A few things: Sadistic Personality Disorder is a psychiatric disorder, the cause of which is still unknown and often misunderstood. While those who experience childhood trauma are at higher risk of developing Sadistic Personality Disorder, not every abused child develops the disorder. There are just as many sadists out there who have experienced no abuse or trauma who have developed the disorder. That being said, we do not know the seme's background and I would not conflate the uke's current desires and the seme's reaction and assume they are driven by the same background. Also, it's important to note that sexual sadism and SPD are not the same thing as responsible partners who partake is BDSM are only interested if there is consent.
There are a few things the uke did to imply consent.
"If I act like I hate it, just keep going, okay?"
If the uke was looking for some sweet, vanilla, gentle lovemaking, these words would never have left his mouth. Because that's NOT what he wants. He wants to understand why his body reacted the way it did when he was raped so he's seeking out partners who can help him re-live his horror.
"Oh wait, but for rape play, you need prep work."
The seme is at least aware of this and this is where the uke should have made his limits and boundaries known. This is where he could have turned around and walked away. He startles at the word rape and then states he's done all the prep.
For rape play.
There's no way he doesn't know what that means. In fact, he's intimately and painfully aware of what that means. In a perfect world, and had both partners been more responsible, they would have established safe words and then both seme and uke could have felt safe in their play. That didn't happen. In part because the seme is inexperienced and yes callous, and because the uke is reckless and even more inexperienced. Not to mention, he's trying to work through something that it literally eating him alive inside.
Also, there's something else I'd like to note. The purpose of this manhwa is not romance. If you're looking for boylove, I'd look somewhere else. The uke is straight and was about to marry a woman when he got raped by a man. And as a man, he has no recourse or even a framework to work through his trauma so I don't fault him for his actions, even when he's hurting himself in the process. He's not looking to make love with other men. He just wants sex from them; not love.
The seme is gay and operates in the LGBT community and their relationship with sex can be a lot more complicated than heterosexual couples. Especially when you're talking about gay men and the club scene, which is where we met the seme. The rules are different and things can get a lot more risque a lot faster. So, he's working on that framework.
And now, their world's have collided because of the uke's trauma, which the seme wants nothing to do with so, at the very least, I understand his reaction.
And lastly, the world is not all black and white. The seme is not completely evil because he rejected the uke and was callous with him after it was revealed he was raped. Homeboy did NOT sign up to be a therapist. And the uke is not completely innocent here either. He sought out rough sex on purpose and then had a breakdown when it got too real, too fast. Could the seme have been more understanding? Absolutely. But the uke should have been more honest as well and set clear boundaries from the get go.
I never want to write another essay on this site ever again, ya'll. Made me do research and shit too. Damn.
Holy shit. You just handled that like a BOSS. That wasn’t an essay, that was a goddam dissertation and you just earned your Yaoi PhD you beautiful bish you.
(๑•ㅂ•)و✧
You. I like you. ^^ This is all I got left, man.
Lmao, while I do love the essay and the time and effort it took, I think you’re still missing what I’m putting down. I stand by my opinion as I’m sure you stand by yours. I’ll point out that I never called the seme evil- I called him a lot of other (imo justified) things, but I don’t chalk people up as evil just because I find their actions despicable. He is, an insensitive prick, ima stick with that. I’m not expecting bl, in fact I’m really into this fic because of how well it’s showcasing trauma in a realistic way. Hypersexuality as a result of sexual assault is something I’m attached to personally, so maybe that’s what pissed me off so much when you called him a headcase. Anyway, we’ll have to agree to disagree. C’est la vie, peace and love lmao.
Are you guys friends? Sneaky devils lol
Your paying too much attention to him saying he's a sadist, he's actually not as hardcore as he made us think in this chapter. He might like being the top and even be a sadist, but only as a play, there's no trauma or bigger meaning behind it. And that's why I don't feel like judging him that much, he was literally only after some sex and fun. Then yes, I agree he made a mistake, but I think they both failed with their communication. As the person above said, the seme also said they should talk better about it, so he's not a crazy pervert unaware of consent and things like that. For sure he should've done more, but he's not that horrible and the uke wanted to try it anyway, even if he wasn't ready to do it, so even if they decided for a safe word and things like that, I don't know how different the result would be. The uke wasn't after a "rape play" but he wanted to live his trauma again, so it wouldn't have worked anyway. They both made mistakes.
I want the fucking slap the seme, wtf kinda reaction is that? Insensitive prick