GROOMING is when a man teaches a child about sexual things like sending nude and teaching sexual practices. He also sent the LOVE LETTER when subaru was already finished with highschool. IDK if you've read the story at all tbh lmao. Whe he recieved the email about subaru before finishing highschool, that is when he wrote the book NOT SEND IT. He feels that he has somehow wronged the child because he felt that the child was falling in love with him that's why he said "his heart can't catch up, it's filled with anxiety and guilt". He also said "HIS GROWTH PUZZLED ME" because he being attracted to this child who was just like a beacon of warmth to him is now grown up and he feels puzzled and guilt because he somehow felt that he tainted him. That's why the "Man falls in love with a child" is what you got wrong love isn't always about being sexually attracted to someone. The "love" was meant to be a linked between the answer to his loneliness and gate to peacefulness. ANd he didn't thought of the child as anything but someone who calmed him and gave him warmth whenever he feels anxious.
and the title of the book wasnt "man falls in love with a child". So idk if you've read or understood the story at all. THE TITLE WAS "HOME" HE also send the book when Subary was already about to enter college.
lmao i understood the story pretty well and i (aka me, myself) personally did not like it
you can go ahead and type 10 more essays about it and it's not gonna change my opinion ♡
it would have been a great story had they met again during college and then developed feelings but i find it disgusting how the crusty old man had romantic feelings for a 10 y.o boy. also quite frankly i don't give a f about opinions that are justifying his affection towards the kid back then as something normal.
also for your sake and future reference this is grooming isn't inherently sexual "Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them."
hope you pay attention to the adults around your kids in the future because a lot of groomers tend to present themselves as friends
would have liked this if at the beginning the kid falls in love with the author but the author only sees him as a lil brother or something.
also i see a lot of comments trying to justify the authors feelings towards the kid as platonic or akin to liking your friends but that's not at all how it was portrayed in the manga. the author very much holds romantic feelings for the kid, it's weird and gives me "death in Venice" type vibes honestly.
plus you wouldn't write a whole ass book and title it "man falls in love with a child" whilst thinking of your friends or relatives. and when the author was mailing the book to the kid, he was reading the email from the kid which was about him almost being done with high school... sending a love confession book to a kid that hasn't graduated high school while being in your 30's is very much considered grooming ijs
not to mention the kid upon coming back to japan has to reassure himself several times that the author is thinking of his adult self and not his past child self personally i found that very off putting