Bro
Hahahah that’s funny
You think that’s bad? back in college I was in a fraternity one degree removed form a church group, nerdy, highest Greek group gpa, dry house, volunteered at something nearly every week, Catholic, prayed to god, etc. You literally lost cool points for doing anything with us or going to events. The popular Greek houses literary refused to put on events with us for this reason. That is to say I was thanking my lucky stars when for my fraternity’s homecoming formal I invited this cute girl with waist long beautiful waist long wavy dark brown hair and she said yes. Originally the formal was supposed to be a costume party since it was on Halloween so we talked about going as Spider-Man and Spiderwoman so we could spray random people with silly string. Well that got axed by the Allumni who wanted a proper full suit formal buuuuutttt I’d already bought the silly string unbeknownst to everyone else and I wasn’t going to let that go to waist. So nearly the entire fraternity, some allumni and dates, of which several of her friends were present which I think is half the reason she was super excited to go. Were all fully dressed up and gathered in our house family room and open kitchen when she with one of her friend arrive. High heels, new dress, full day getting hair and make up down. And like a complete fucking idiot I pop out in front of everyone and ask her to guess what I got and then shout “Silly String!!!” As I pull a can out from behind my back and spray her with it and completely dead on with a long huge burst stream hit her long beautiful now professionally done waist length dark brown wavy hair. She screamed in horror and immediately all eyes where on us. Her friend brings her in for a protective hug and then moves to take the silly string out of her hair.
It was at this moment I learned an interesting little factoid. Silly string can expire. Upon inspection the can I bought was 7 years expired. And the most important factoid I learned is 7 year expired silly string will take on a bubbly gum like consistency. A bubble gum like substance now stuck from the top of this girls head all the ways down her waist length beautiful hair. Upon learning this the girl burst into big sobbing tears as her friend rushed her into the bathroom to try and do some triage on the hair running it under some sink water.
Me standing pale faced and sheepishly outside the bathroom door: Ummm... sorry... is there anything I can do to help?
Girl: * More loud sobbing*
Girl’s friend spitting acid: NO!!! GO AWAY!!!
Fraternity president pulling me aside by my arm and shout whispering: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Two Hours Later
As freshman I have to go to help organize and run the formal. Girl refuses to go with me.
However her friend does call me over later when she arrives so can pay pay for her $60 ticket to get in while she refuses to look at or talk to and upon entering goes to sit with her friend at the farthest table from me possible. She the left later without telling me and not only was there no follow up date she never spoke to me again.... Did I mention I’m single?
Be a real bad time for him to play stupid and ask “What kids? I thought you miscarried?” .... It’s also totally what I would say because I can’t help myself in those situations... also probably why I’m single