historical bl

i was reading this historical manga a few months ago, and i cant remember the name like at all. so what i remember is that the uke (black hair) was reborn and met the person in his past life. (the person is the seme, and he has greyish hair) the seme either treated him horribly or rlly nice in his past life, but i dont remember much. some key points i remember is that the seme had a kid? or a girl with black hair did, and the kid ripped off a piece of the ukes hair so the seme got pissed and started like strangiling (idk if thats how u spell it) the kid. btw he did this bc he HATESSS when peope touch the uke. and the uke obv was like hes just a kid! and then i remem in the first chaps the uke tried to kill himself by jumping into a river. and the seme almost chopped off the ukes leg bc he didnt want him going anywhere or smth. but yeah thats all i remem, this has been on my head for a week pls help ಥ_ಥ