serious question...

I also prefer the switches. Maybe cause I'm in my 40's but to me it's more sexy and it shows loving each other equally. Just my opinion. By the way, I LOVE Yashiro. That is one man who knows what he likes and knows who he is. Totally ballsy guy.

It's rare that I actually drop it but same- especially when the uke not only looks and acts like a girl it but also treated like one( and by that I mean like seem goes to work- doesn't allow the uke to go outside/work/do anything without him) - which is not only imposing hetero stereotypes but it's also an outdated view on them. I'll accept them once in a while but I can't read any after each other because I get so irritated it makes me want to pluck my eyes out

Sadly, we do see ourselves and other women that way. I'd like to consider myself pretty much above all that, but I'd be lying if I said I truly was. I like being treated like the damsel in distress, occasionally - even if I'd never need to be for real (I'm stubbornly self sufficient and independent). And women are far more competitive than men. We take competition to a personal level. Where men can still be friends with a guy after competing, women can't. We inflict too much damage on other women when we get competitive. By nature our competitions are more intense. Males of a species can mate with several females and produce offspring with all of them. Females get one male at a time they can produce offspring with. This makes us more cutthroat. Even with our intellect, as humans, this nature can be seen quite clearly in everything from how we dress to how we speak. We want to be chosen, to be wanted, desired and we will do whatever it takes to achieve that. A strong woman will act weak to appeal to a man's pride, she will dress in clothes that appeal to a man - even if it is uncomfortable, she will disgrace another woman simply to show that she is a better choice. For the right man, even the most staunch feminist would commit such acts. If they deny it, they are lying to themselves as well as to you. I'm not proud that I would do those things, but I can admit that I'm certainly capable of doing it.
So, if we're honest with ourselves, yaoi and manga in general, are not that far off the mark.

The notion that all women are inherently manipulative creatures that would cut each other down over the nearest dick is hilarious. Maybe YOU are, but don't say "we" as if all women are that vapidly shallow.

I am that vapid and shallow. And if you are honest with yourself, for the right person, so are you. You're trying to tell me that if some skank tried to walk in and take your lover from you, that you'd roll over and let her? I'm not proud of my petty, jealous and selfish nature, but at least I don't lie to myself, or others, that it exists. Unlike you. At the very least, the women around me know well that I'll throw down for the right guy. Conversely, your female friends assume you're "above all that" until your hand is wrapped in their hair and you've already gone to the ground over it. I may not live up to your standards, but at least I can be honest about myself. Can you say the same?
And believe me, women are capable of cutting each other's throats over shoes, let alone the right man. You can believe what you want about yourself, but don't think for a second that anyone else is as righteous as you'd like to think you are. You'll be the one hurt for your assumption.

You also have to consider that yaoi is written for women who are in a society that insists they are "the weaker" sex and pushes them to "conform" to the role laid out for them in tradition. It's assumed that all female roles - including bottoms - would also conform to those traditional roles. Yaoi may be dominated by female mangaka, but the old societal views are hard to shake. In order to appeal to their audience, characters have to be relatable. This is done by making the relationships and characters reflect what most of the audience sees everyday in their own lives and relationships... The female character (uke) facing and dealing with the same situations a female reader might face or have faced. In western society, we balk at most of these scenarios because it's no longer part of our culture for women to be the "good Stepford wife" - let alone a gay man. This is not the case in Japan. Modern ideas go head to head with traditional views and values constantly and in every aspect of life there. Sometimes they can function side by side. Other times there is a bitter clash. As readers of a medium that is based in and on a culture very different from our own, we must keep in mind, and respect, those differences. As unsavory, belittling or confusing as they may be. With luck and hard work on the part of the young generation, they may come to see things as we do and free themselves of the bonds of outdated views and values. Hopefully.

I just wrote a really long reply and accidentally deleted all of it! ╥﹏╥ I am such a klutz!

Any way the gist of was that there is nothing wrong with wanting to take a break from being independent or less dependent and trying something new i.e being the "damsel in distress" or the "prince".

Additionally being attractive is also something you do for your own self esteem and status within their own group, not necessarily for someone else.

Another point was that men also make great efforts to be more attractive e.g buffing up.

That was roughly it...

My god, I feel so dumb for deleting everything ╥﹏╥

Btw it seems like you know some super bitchy people :)

I am truly sorry.

I just realised that I had accidentally called you bitchy in my previous comment. Which is admittedly a rather ridiculous blunder to make. Rest assured that it was not my intention in any way. I had originally thought that you were describing other girls' behaviours and not your own. Again, apologies.


By the way, I personally believe Hal has a point: You are making sweeping statements about half the worlds population (plus the image you paint of competition between women is somewhat facetious, in a rather twisted way). That of course does not mean it is not your own personal reality. It just does not have to be everyone's.

Just my thoughts on the matter!

Have a nice day! ( '◡' )

No worries. I take no offense at your comments. In fact, I like the way you think and express yourself. I do know a lot of bitchy people and I also happen to be capable of being one. You see, it's the "capability" that I'm talking about when I make those "sweeping" generalizations. We are all capable of extremes. When we deny our capacity to do something - positive or negative - we also ignore it or deny it when we actually do it. The "I would never do that/ I never did that" spiral. However, if you can recognize that you are capable of doing something good, you can achieve great things. If you recognize that you are capable of very bad things, you can avoid hurting others by refraining from those negative actions. Denying them entirely leaves you open to being blissfully unaware that you are hurting others and then denying your actions later with the "I could never do that" excuse. I may not be high and mighty or righteous about what I - and everyone else - am capable, but I am honest and my honesty keeps me and others safer from harm than denial. That is the point I'm trying to make. Am I a horrible bitch under normal circumstances? I don't think I am. I am kind and generous to others and I am a good friend to those who I am close. I don't pass judgement on others and I believe that everyone deserves friendship and compassion from others. However, in extreme situations I am capable of acting without kindness or mercy. So is every other human on this planet.