So. First off, BDSM has multiple aspects to it.
Bondage, discipline, dominance & submission, sadism & masochisim.
In a BDSM relationship the partners may in engage in a DomSub play which involves The Sub submitting themselves to the control of the Dom and the play can include anything from being tied up or sexually controlled to whippings and wax play. BUT it doesn’t need to include all these things.
A Sub may enjoy being sexually controlled and stimulated by their Dom without including pain. This would mean the person is a Submissive but NOT a masochist (a person who enjoys pain inflicted upon them) [wax play and whippings would be under the sadomasochistic category as it involves pain]
Likewise a Dom may enjoy controlling their Sub in the bedroom but not necessarily bringing them pain which would make them a Dominant but NOT a Sadist.
Does this clear things up a bit?
Can we talk about how this man is a Dom Masochist. Like(≧∀≦)