I want to favourite this comment.
Aww!! you're so sweet
He wasnt even trying to find anything- If you never had trauma you just cant tell someone to GET OVER IT. Thats not how it works at all
Thats the exact way the other dude did it, he hid it off until he found out. He doesn't know who to trust literally everybody judged him at the time-
Whether he was trying to find anything or not is not the problem, no matter how traumatized you are you can't touch someone else's belongings without their approval. I am sorry but that behavior can't be excused.
It is not the same situation,The other dude took advantage of his weakness, and manipulated him, she isn't, she is giving time, space.
Sorry to tell you this but a trauma is a lot more serious than "I'm scared of dark", I don't know if you have ever experienced something like this but from my view it seems that you haven't. A person with a trauma can't trust others so easy, it's anxious and scared with other people, she have triggered his trauma before and now again, he could not think straight. I also think that it was not right for him to open the blog but think a little about the emotions that someone has, it's not that easy to handle a trauma, and I say it from my experience.
You don't get to treat people badly just because you have trauma. Especially genuine people who you know care about you, you don't get to punish them by ignoring and avoiding them for dumbass reasons like "they had a blog" without even reading ANY posts. Because then he did read the blog and BAM magically he's a decent person to her again? No. Traumatized people can be abusive too, and his constant ignoring, neglect, and avoiding So-Dam to punish her and then come crawling back is boarding abusive. Yes he's getting triggered but he's also traumatizing HER.
I was traumatized before (by an adult when I was a minor) and no one cared and got blamed, and I know for sure how to treat people, it is true you will get more conscious of other people behavior but you shouldn't exaggerate (like he is doing). And if you take people's feeling for granted, you will lose them no matter how much they like you. People have feelings too and you being traumatized doesn't give you the right to treat them badly, to evade their privacy.....and more.
And that is true you will cause other people trauma if you treat them like he is doing (not be given the chance to explain themselves, being ignored randomly, being treated badly based on the other person's feeling, leaving them guessing what they did wrong .. ) I am sorry but that sounds extremely toxic to me
So this is his fault? Are you telling him to throw his trauma aside ans act like it never happened? You cant tell someone how to act or how to be, yes you had trauma and your acting different than him. That'S YOU. You forget the character isn't a representation of you, its a representation of how people handle trauma, all DIFFERENTLY.
Exactly, the sub here is traumatized AND somewhat toxic. You can be both. Calling out someone for being toxic doesn't mean you hate them either, I love the character, and I see his faults. So-Dam is impulsive and doesn't always think things through but she has very consistently been kind and considerate towards Minwoo. He doesn't take any of that into consideration and just leaves and pops back into her life whenever he feels like it despite being the one to tell HER: "I belong to you and you belong to me" fuck off toxic sub stick with her and communicate or let her move on!
He knows it isnt the same situation, but it can surely build up to be the exact same one.
The other dude had a blog too, do you expect for him to read her blog like its a chapter book? No, he didn't because yall would say the exact same thing. "He iNvAdEd hEr pRivAcY". Would you rather him not read anything or read the whole page?
He doesn't get to be abusive because of his trauma. Period. This is coming from someone who's been taken advantage of in the worst ways that make me relate to him. It doesn't mean that if I have an episode I get to ignore, neglect, and blame the person who triggered me without ever communicating my trauma to them, nor giving them a chance to explain. They're both bad and new at this, but she's the only one trying.
We expect him not to snoop on another person's computer period. Oh and second, to confront her and get answers. Not run away, neglect and ignore her, and then come back after she's tortured herself. I genuinely hope you get some help for your apparent trauma friend, because it sounds like you're ready to blame the whole world instead of expecting someone to take even an ounce of personal accountability for their actions.
It can't we are talking about two different people with two different personalities. She is clearly trying to be a good Dom and he can see that he just doesn't want to trust her and that is not her problem but it is his. you can't make a person trust you if they don't there is nothing you can do about it . The other dude wasn't doing what she is, he was showing signs of abuse early on
Dude the moment he touched her laptop that was invasion of privacy. So at least read everything and don't cause yourself a misunderstanding, drama, sadness...
At least she is trying to make things better, the only thing he cares about is himself his needs his feeling and basta
Exactly. He literally hasn't tried even to be a good sub. He only initiated once and it was because he was jealous. And turned out he didn't need to be since it was just to sell surfing classes! He's a whole mess and I can like him as a character, but he's toxic to So-Dam and at this rate will make her too anxious to ever top anyone again.
At this point he is in the wrong
_first he opened her laptop without her consent or her being with him(I am sorry but that is disrespectful and if someone did that to me I would consider them untrustworthy )
_second from that simple blog he assumed "that part of her" dude it could be for fun or for some research or whatever (she is a human too, she does things in her free time, what did you think? Once she get home she start counting the number on ants that colonized her room floor? NO)
_thirdly he left without saying a word leaving the door open? After being invited and he accepted the invitation (RUDE)
_fourthly if you face a problem in your relationship you communicate it with your partner not run AWAY yall are not children anymore (I get that you got traumatized but at some point you need to get past your trauma to grow up)
Sorry but she doesn't deserve all that stress, self esteem damage, sadness, anxiety she is going through she deserves better