I loved the fact that hiiragi took a day off and figured out his feeling toward Shizu and Yuki. I had never failed to notice the fact that whenever yuki was described as perfect and untouchable, it was always from hiiragi's point of view. Whenever hiiragi is the narrator, we get Yuki's pictures with a sparkling filter on. But, it was a beautiful thing that in this chapter hiiragi figured out how yuki was just like him. Simply a human with all kinds of emotions and feelings. It took hiiragi such a long time to realise that he is in love with shizu. When little hiiragi saw mafuyu and yuki getting closer and closer, he tried to be a part of their world. In the flashbacks, yuki and mafuyu were always together and hiiragi is always seen yelling trying to get their attention. But at some point, I think, he thought that he was not needed in yukimafuyu's world. It was the image of first love hiiragi and shizu both saw. All this time, hiiragi had been watching mafuyu and yuki being in love and thinking how perfect they looked because yuki and mafuyu's transition from friends to lovers was very natural, they didn't even have to ask each other out .( I don't remember correctly, but it was in the last EP or maybe OVA of given anime). They were mutually in love and that's what hiiragi thought as an ideal type of relationship. Like being made for one another. He saw how mafuyu and yuki were happy in their own world. That impression of first love was what he thought as "perfect first love". That is why he thought he can only be a "spectator". That panel of yuki twirling mafuyu on the stage and hiiragi sitting in the audience perfectly sums up hiiragi's thoughts about mafuyuki, his idea of "perfect love" and him being the spectator. All this time, hiiragi had been chasing the idea of love, instead of actually doing it. He was looking for "the love" that mafuyu and yuki shared. That is why he failed to see shizu who had always been there for him , even when it was about watching mafuyu and yuki on stage, he is there beside him even tho he doesn't look very impressed/interested. Hiiragi was chasing the idea of love while shizu actually wanted to be with hiiragi. When we see the kindergarten teacher introducing shizu to the kids, shizu is wearing a poker face. But then there is this kid who talks a lot and tries to befriend him.To little shizu, who had seen nothing but an awful life as a foster child, hiiragi is like a light in his dark world.That is why he had been cherishing him like a treasure. Shizu beautifully describes hiiragi as a "glittering pebble that he had tucked in a sandbox". But then shizu sees how mafuyu and yuki are in love and how hiiragi is always watching them, he realises how he can never have hiiragi for himself. Shizu thinks it is selfish of him to want hiiragi all for himself and he thinks he is an "asshole" for feeling that way about him..To him, it seemed completely different from yuki and mafuyu's love. That is why he tells mafuyu,"You have it good,huh?.....". Hiiragi admits that it's not shizu's fault if he thinks he was in love with yuki. Shizu asking him if he can actually do something with him to confirm hiiragi's feelings, even when he knows that he is crying, was his Own way of protecting himself from further getting hurt. As we can see, hiiragi's eyes are fixated on mafuyu and yuki even when they are eating bento. But shizu is trying to get hiiragi's attention by stealing his food. So sweet. Hiiragi always saw yuki like that, that's why he couldn't understand him. Uenoyama could complete Yuki's song because it was written by someone who was in love with mafuyu. That's is why uenoyama could understand what yuki wanted to convey. Hiiragi realised that the love yuki felt for mafuyu, or what uenoyama feels for mafuyu is not a superficial love, but simple, genuine and ordinary love.That ordinary yet special feeling. The exact same he feels about shizu. I think the panel of hiiragi walking on a guardrail "that winter", the season of Yuki's death, he was overwhelmed by the blazing sun and was going to cross the line between life and death just like yuki did, but shizu saved him by calling his name. Shizu looks so lonely when he calls hiiragi's name like that. If hiiragi had actually done that, there would've been nothing for shizu to look foreword to in his life. It saddens me how no one was there for yuki, when he tried to cross that line. He fought with mafuyu, they didn't go to the same school. His friend, hiiragi who failed to see him as a human and instead put him on a pedestal.I wonder why there isn't a single interaction between shizu and yuki. Were they really close friends or just friends by association? The only person who could truly understand yuki is uenoyama, even tho he doesn't know much about him. I wonder if yuki was alive, yuki and UE could've become good friends. I think the last page where shizu is helping hiiragi down the stage is him, trying to take hiiragi out of his imaginary world where he was a mere spectator watching someone else's love. Shizu is helping him get back to reality.
I loved the fact that hiiragi took a day off and figured out his feeling toward Shizu and Yuki. I had never failed to notice the fact that whenever yuki was described as perfect and untouchable, it was always from hiiragi's point of view. Whenever hiiragi is the narrator, we get Yuki's pictures with a sparkling filter on. But, it was a beautiful thing that in this chapter hiiragi figured out how yuki was just like him. Simply a human with all kinds of emotions and feelings.
It took hiiragi such a long time to realise that he is in love with shizu. When little hiiragi saw mafuyu and yuki getting closer and closer, he tried to be a part of their world. In the flashbacks, yuki and mafuyu were always together and hiiragi is always seen yelling trying to get their attention. But at some point, I think, he thought that he was not needed in yukimafuyu's world. It was the image of first love hiiragi and shizu both saw. All this time, hiiragi had been watching mafuyu and yuki being in love and thinking how perfect they looked because yuki and mafuyu's transition from friends to lovers was very natural, they didn't even have to ask each other out .( I don't remember correctly, but it was in the last EP or maybe OVA of given anime). They were mutually in love and that's what hiiragi thought as an ideal type of relationship. Like being made for one another. He saw how mafuyu and yuki were happy in their own world. That impression of first love was what he thought as "perfect first love". That is why he thought he can only be a "spectator". That panel of yuki twirling mafuyu on the stage and hiiragi sitting in the audience perfectly sums up hiiragi's thoughts about mafuyuki, his idea of "perfect love" and him being the spectator. All this time, hiiragi had been chasing the idea of love, instead of actually doing it. He was looking for "the love" that mafuyu and yuki shared. That is why he failed to see shizu who had always been there for him , even when it was about watching mafuyu and yuki on stage, he is there beside him even tho he doesn't look very impressed/interested. Hiiragi was chasing the idea of love while shizu actually wanted to be with hiiragi.
When we see the kindergarten teacher introducing shizu to the kids, shizu is wearing a poker face. But then there is this kid who talks a lot and tries to befriend him.To little shizu, who had seen nothing but an awful life as a foster child, hiiragi is like a light in his dark world.That is why he had been cherishing him like a treasure. Shizu beautifully describes hiiragi as a "glittering pebble that he had tucked in a sandbox". But then shizu sees how mafuyu and yuki are in love and how hiiragi is always watching them, he realises how he can never have hiiragi for himself. Shizu thinks it is selfish of him to want hiiragi all for himself and he thinks he is an "asshole" for feeling that way about him..To him, it seemed completely different from yuki and mafuyu's love. That is why he tells mafuyu,"You have it good,huh?.....". Hiiragi admits that it's not shizu's fault if he thinks he was in love with yuki. Shizu asking him if he can actually do something with him to confirm hiiragi's feelings, even when he knows that he is crying, was his Own way of protecting himself from further getting hurt.
As we can see, hiiragi's eyes are fixated on mafuyu and yuki even when they are eating bento. But shizu is trying to get hiiragi's attention by stealing his food. So sweet.
Hiiragi always saw yuki like that, that's why he couldn't understand him. Uenoyama could complete Yuki's song because it was written by someone who was in love with mafuyu. That's is why uenoyama could understand what yuki wanted to convey. Hiiragi realised that the love yuki felt for mafuyu, or what uenoyama feels for mafuyu is not a superficial love, but simple, genuine and ordinary love.That ordinary yet special feeling. The exact same he feels about shizu.
I think the panel of hiiragi walking on a guardrail "that winter", the season of Yuki's death, he was overwhelmed by the blazing sun and was going to cross the line between life and death just like yuki did, but shizu saved him by calling his name.
Shizu looks so lonely when he calls hiiragi's name like that. If hiiragi had actually done that, there would've been nothing for shizu to look foreword to in his life.
It saddens me how no one was there for yuki, when he tried to cross that line. He fought with mafuyu, they didn't go to the same school. His friend, hiiragi who failed to see him as a human and instead put him on a pedestal.I wonder why there isn't a single interaction between shizu and yuki. Were they really close friends or just friends by association? The only person who could truly understand yuki is uenoyama, even tho he doesn't know much about him. I wonder if yuki was alive, yuki and UE could've become good friends.
I think the last page where shizu is helping hiiragi down the stage is him, trying to take hiiragi out of his imaginary world where he was a mere spectator watching someone else's love. Shizu is helping him get back to reality.