Yes but think about the time period. She wasn’t even allowed to go out and she’s treated like a literal child, so yes her thought process is a bit immature I would think. She’s not been exposed to anything really
did you even read because she literally was raised to become dependent on a man. only expected to obey, be complacent and give birth to an heir. realistically, she would be a late bloomer to independence.
She was actually raised to be educated like her BROTHER. They said this a couple chapters ago when we found out she speaks multiple languages. She choose to back down and not show her intelligence... becomes her dependence she has this demeanor about the that’s as a teenager... her 15 child acts more like an adult
Re-read chapter 6. For those of you who think the reason she’s like this is because of how she was raised.
I understand what you mean but look, intellect-wise she may have been well-versed in languages and reading, but the mindset she was brought up with was very different. She wasn’t exactly raised to be an independent woman, she always thought she had to be married to a man to secure power and in general just because you’re smart in education DOESNT mean you’re educated in other aspects of your life. She never thought of being a scholar or was raised with the idea she could or should be anything other than a wife of a man.
That is her place in society. Sure, she was educated, she got that privillage however due to her families circumstances and the expectations of society, she had to backdown.
In one of the chapters, he mentioned that she sacrafised herself and her life for her family, to secure/improve/protect their status.
And she did that. Their marriage was also very suddent and done out of need.
She tried not to be a reliant teenager, she tried to work, she tried to help with managment however she was rejected and excluded.
Also, socalisation is an important factor. And I'm certain that she told by both her family and the outside world that a woman must have a child and marry a man. She might have never even questioned that. She simply knows that it's her role, she hates her life and she is in hardcore denial about how unsatified she is with it. She views herself as bad/strange for not being happy with the standard expected female life.
all these replies... [chef's kiss]
just say you hate women and go
Bro, first of all I am a woman. Secondly all I said was I don’t like the FL because she was childish despite being nearly 40. To say that woman in general during an era acted as childish as her is ignorant, because it makes it seem as though women were incapable of being anything but sheep for their family’s. I know for a fact that it was a difficult time for women, but people should not conclude a woman’s personality to be solely defined on society or there would be no progression for women period.
but how is she childish? Usually, I can somewhat get what the other side is saying but I literally don't think that she has acted in a childish way at any point
NAUURRRR how tf is she childish? just because she is discovering what she wants to do lately? just because she doesn't know how to properly communicate and is meek to stand up for herself? is the depression? or is it her demeanor? like, do you want her to be like mean, slouchy and all mature and stoic at the age of 40 when there is nothing wrong on being in touch with your inner child especially when she's deprived of a normal childhood. lmfao, if u dont like women like her why are you still here wtf
How was she Deprived of a normal childhood? She was given the opportunity most women couldn’t have. She was given an education she was allowed to learn business management and she had the choice on who she wanted to marry. And to answer your question I do think it’s childish that she doesn’t know how to properly communicate. Yes I do. definitely BEFORE her depression. postpartum depression is real Which is why I never said I didn’t like her during the depression, or even how she treated her son. Nor did I ever say she had to be slouchy or stoic. Why are you so defensive? I stated my opinion for a character and you sound actually hurt
Ok ma dudes, here is the bigger question: Do I not exist?
Like yall be breaking my heart.
I appreciate this question.For context in talking both before and after her Postpartum depression.
By childishness I mean her constant need for approval from her husband and from her servants and her Naivety for her surroundings and how willing she is to except commands dispute the fact she is in power. and her being in power is super important in what I’m talking about... she’s not just any woman, different characters have stated this fact, yet she acts defenseless and obviously to the politics around her which she should know better than anyone because of the sacrifices she had to make and why she made them. She’s not stupid and Ignorant of the fact that people could want her killed and the weight that her family name holds yet she leaves everything to everyone else without putting up a fight. She if it wasn’t stated, she could’ve played her sons girlfriend instead of his mother. She holds no Authority over anything even though she should have authority over so much. She should have control over something in her life, because the men who Supposedly have control over her (both her father and her husband) allow her to do whatever she wants but she chooses not to like a complacent child.
And if you don’t believe that she had choices just look at the fact that she keeps calling him her best choice... she could’ve chose differently because her father allowed her to. She could’ve had control over the management of some aspects in her house. Because she is the lady of the house and she holds a higher rank than anyone else in the household besides her husband. Even though her husband was upset that she went to parties she did it anyway granted she was just doing that for attention. If you really want her to stop he would’ve made her stop but he didn’t.
Well, she is a stranger, an outsider comment into that household. She needs to get approval from the people within that power structure to be active in it. Unless she is allowed to have any authority by her husband, she won't have it. At the time the woman's power was determined by whenever or not she was favored by her owner. Can you point at any specific incidents? Maybe I will get what you mean more if we can speak about anything specific?
What authority does she have? She got allowed to go outside by herself once and she was allowed to go out to parties once her son was older.
I agree with you, she should have some control over that household. However, when she did the work and when she tried to be active/helpful, she was denied that opportunity and treated as an annoyance (refer to the chapter when the other lady helped her get permission to go outside without an escort.) Is her status really higher when she does not have the support of her husband? Is the power to go to parties (which don't happen often) a power that is useful? Or is it just a bit better than not being allowed to leave the household?
He was her " best choice" however, that is meant in terms of men. She could have married him or that other guy with the bad vibes. Sure, she could have gone with a different man, however, the freedom to marry either man A or man B isn't truly freedom. It's like if you could either date me or eruri and the option to stay single wasn't allowed, that wouldn't be true freedom, would it?
She was able to go to parties when her son was five years old. even though her husband would have preferred not to but he did because she wanted to, which shows that if she asks she will most likely receive.
She randomly decided to stop four of her sons tutors from coming and her husband just backed down. And the sons education and perfection is important to the father. But her opinion matters to him.
To my previous two points...Her husband does love her and if she asks him anything he would give it to her she just doesn’t (she hopes he’s a mind reader)
She had to ask permission to leave the state without any guards because in reality that’s a stupid idea considering who she is. People will try to kill her or kidnap her to use her as leverage.
Yes you are correct she was an outsider, but you have to prove your usefulness regardless of were you go but she just quit not because her husband wanted her to stop but because that one guy stopped her.
It doesn't show that, you're assuming that on the basis of that.
It wasn't random, it was based on realizing how much work he is doing. Too much work is exhausting and will affect your well-being. And yes, she got that, but only because the husband agreed.
How is she hoping that he is a mind reader and how should she know that he loves her?
That only applies if they know of her identity. She went out dressed as s peasant (in disguise), which means that no one would be able to identify her. Furthermore, one of the merchants tried to call her into the store (as though she was a peasant), meaning that her disguise was convincing.
She did try to prove her work, she wrote a lot. He was the one in charge of managing that area, if she continued to try to get involved after being shown that she is not wanted, she would be acting like a complete airhead with no social skills. And that one guy had authority in that household. What would the point of her doing things be if anything she did, ended up being ignored/put aside? Additionally, in the scene where he talked with his wife, she made it clear that she knew that he purposely decided to exclude her due to her being an outsider, which meant that she could have been a spy. His reasoning was not based on her not showing that she was useful. Contradictory, he himself admitted that she got the right figure despite her lack of experience. That is a great achievement within itself.
It was random, because she was never involved in her son’s education and with the time line of the story, since she actually went back three years, for the everyone it was like she was depressed an then she woke up one day and suddenly cared...in everyone’s else’s eyes it seems as if she suddenly was interested in her son. Which is why everyone was surprised. She never even knew how much classes her son took, then as soon as she heard she canceled some...
They both lack communication skills. She hopes he’s a mind reader, by that I mean, she never told him I’m lonely, I don’t feel supported, you only treat me like a mother, or ask him do you really love me? It was 15+ years in to her marriage until they had a real conversation on what she felt going through her years of marriage.
The fact that she had to Disguise her self in the first place is my point. She’s important enough to need to hide who she was. Just because the disguise worked doesn’t change the fact it was dangerous.
And to your last point. She should have tried again, it’s not acting like an airhead, it’s showing how much you want to be involved in her new family. Just because you failed once you should just quit. The point of doing this again was because she had something to prove and earn. He did admit she was good at what she did but she never tried to earn his trust. He acted correctly, he couldn’t just entrust everything to a stranger (which she was when she just got married) everything takes time to build and she needed to push more than what she did. Let her husband tell her to stop not one of his workers
It might seem random but you got to consider that she went back in past, and she started having the desire to be a good mother. She regretted not having a close relationship with her child so she went out of her way to learn about it. Others might see it differently, however, sometimes people change.
She doesn't show that she has any desire for him to know that she is lonely so she isn't expecting him to be a mind reader. She is dealing with it and she isn't happy about it but based on the story, she sees her lack of happiness as something that is wrong with her because everyone around her who lives a similar life is happy. So to her, her lack of happiness just means that there is something inherently wrong with her.
If the disguise worked, then it was not dangerous and no one seems to be after her, neither now nor later.
It would be acting like an airhead and what is the point of trying again when it was already made clear that she isn't welcome. Also, she didn't fail. She did good, however that didn't matter at all. What mattered was that she wasn't welcomed. This means that regardless of the effort she put in, everything she would do would be deemed as not something she is allowed to do. If she continued, she would simply be doing work that would be disposed of or ignored. That would make no difference. The correct procedure would be for her to be given that role outright, however she wasn't, and when she tried to get those responsibilities, she was denied. Do you truly believe that she would have been allowed to do work if, even after all those years, the person in charge still has a negative attitude towards her and lacks trust for her?
I’m saying it is random for the husband, her son and the servants... not random for her.
To prove my point. Please tell me, Why did she need a disguise?
And basically, because she wasn’t welcomed she should stop making an effort? Like a... why bother attitude?
And yes I do believe that she would have been allowed to work if she voiced her wants.
The only reason I don’t like the FL is because she doesn’t ask as of she’s 36 (and mentally she should be 39) she acts like she’s a dependent teenager