I totally understand the feeling

I've had people try to pay for me before, especially when I was living a little rough, and I always worried like they would expect something in return, or I would have to pay them back later (which I normally insisted and followed through on even if it took some time), and I always felt like shit for their pity for me, but also need the money too. I was stuck with thoughts like why are are giving this to me for free??? This story resonated with me deeply. When the mc doesn't have enough money to buy the convenience store coffee, I felt that. I've been there. Now I earn much more than I did before (but by no means sugar mama material), and if I buy someone something for them, I'm really doing it because I want to help them, because I see myself in them, because I had been there, crying at the cost of my car not working when I had to get it repaired, living in my car and crashing on couches, saying I was on a diet so friends wouldn't know I couldn't afford to eat out with them, and wondering how I was going to buy food for the month. Now I'm on the opposite side, I still have a weird feeling like I'll be broke next month but I'm willing to cash it out for others in need because there were people who did the same for me and I wouldn't have made it far without them. In this case it's probably a deep part of the seme resonated with the mc, whether it was romantic or empathic, which made him want to spoil him. But I remember and still get really squicked out when people offer to pay for me still, so I def get the mc's feelings.
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