1. she DID do everything different. she tried to escape. theres not one instance where she ‘willingly’ go back to where she was before. she did so because she doesnt want to bring harm to the people who’ve helped her. it might seem frustrating that despite all the help shes been offered, she rejected them. because thats what people with a consciences would do? had she not followed the imperial guards, her own guard and the priest might lose their life. ok the duke might save them, but who would say hed save them in time? no child would want to bear the weight of holding somesones life. (and yes i say child, because despite being 18 years old, her mental development wasnt probably the best given the circumstances)
2. you say you dont wanna undermine trauma, but you really just did so. she has NEVER gotten the chance to heal. her distrust towards people is EXACTLY because of her trauma. why would she believe them, when the count told her just exactly that in the past? now that shes tasted kindness, she treats them like glass because she didnt know thats what any decent person would do. its overwhelming. it burdensome. its not uncommon at all to reject them, again, because shes been given NO time to heal. and shes a child!!!!!
3. what can she really do anyway? shes a kid, traumatized, an orphan, a commoner, this is really her definition of doing her best. shes just so powerless and i think thats the point of the story.
It's mainly frustrating because you just wanna jump in the story and strangle the heck out of the antagonists ╮(￣▽￣)╭
Just joting down what I said in a comment about "disliking".
"I am one of the people who are frustrated with the MC. It's not dislike, it's frustration. I am not looking down on her trauma, because trauma is not something you take lightly. What I'm frustrated about is her inability to change her future even after knowing what will happen. There are legit people telling her that she will be safe and willing to help her, constantly over and over again. And instead of accepting that very different choice that was not shown to her in the past, she decided to do the same thing as in the past. Let terrible people make the choice for her and follow them. She keeps saying she has to escape, yet she literally went back to the crazy dude. That is what we are frustrated about. She is not doing anything DIFFERENT. We all know that if something is not working, we obviously have to do something different, she however, does not. For people like you who keep saying that we lack empathy or what not, we don't. We're just not enabling her behavior and walking on eggshells on the topic. It's the same with mental health, or people who have been traumatized. We slowly build on getting them better, she is just staying there and getting nowhere. She's literally stuck."
And yes, I know it's just been a few chapters and maybe in the next few she'll do something different, but right now, she's just stuck in the same loop and it is frustrating and annoying. And yes she spent her entire previous life stuck in a hut until she died at 18 without knowing anything. She knows something, staying with the crazy dude WILL GET HER KILLED. That is something she knows very well, and yes, she finally decided to escape... by going BACK to the crazy dude.