My psychologist told me I needed to spend time doing nothing. Apparently, too much TV and reading (and manga) etc also keeps your brain busy and doesn't actually relax you. Walking around the block aimlessly and looking at butterflies or something is supposed to be good for your mind. I will keep you in my thoughts :)
I'm sorry, I used to be more of an active person who would usually read a book or go outside and look at weird things, but ever since a certain incident, I've been locked inside my house (I'm not allowed to go outside anymore) and lately, it seems that I just don't want to do anything or eat. I've used to do things that were good for my mind, but nowadays, I just don't know how to spend my life.
It sounds like you have a complicated life, but it would make me sad if you gave up. Maybe rather than 'doing stuff' you could aim to 'create something' - colouring in, sketching (light and shadows are pretty mesmerizing), origami, awesome minecraft structures...something along those lines. I'm not a very good sympathetic listener, but PM me if you want to keep talking.
This makes my heart pound... Like hurt pound you know? I get what the Kei feels... It hurts so fucking much. I tried to suicide but failed. I'm sick. The world is sick...