Wait, wait, wait lmao please don't assume all Japanese are OK with cheating. My friend's situation was waaaay out of the ordinary and isn't normal at all (well, the sex practice was. I know a lot of married Japanese men who use soaplands). Now, if we're talking infidelity, I think the worse I've personally seen was a British man with 4 separate families in 4 countries-- UK, Philippines, Thailand, and Vietnam. Hoo boy.
speaking of relationships in japan, when I went there for business years ago, it was mandatory for us to learn japanese so we had to sign up for classes. a teacher I had there quit and I asked her for dinner before I left and she was telling me about her situation and how she wants to leave japan. apparently she was pressured into an arranged marriage by her parents to try to “fix” her since she came out to them that she was into women. she married a guy who was also not interested in marriage and commitment and they agreed to have relationships outside of their marriage but one of her family members caught her with her gf and this caused huge problems in their household.
this was years ago so i really hope her situation got better but it was all kinds of clusterfuck :/
this is so sad. i hope shes happy now. i just dont get why society would feel obligated to hinder people from doing something that would make them happy. if her family loves her they should prioritize her happiness above all. we dont get to live a long life. would they rather she live her life miserably then? i dont get it
That's awful :( Sadly, it is a situation I'm all too familiar with, and one I've heard too often from my Japanese friends. I honestly have too many LGBT friends who have been forced to marry someone they do not love and are sexually attracted to; it's hard. Some of them have cheated on their spouses, and whilst I am against cheating, I honestly can't judge them or blame them for it. It's so easy for someone like me to say "just get a divorce, then be with the person you want" but the reality in Japan is it's not simple. Even moreso if you're a woman.
LGBT recognition is slowly getting better, but it's not progressing as quickly as it should and it's frustrating. And even if the government catches up on the times, the oldies still cling on to their tradition and refuse to accept it as normal. It's just sad all around. I know it's not a problem limited to Japan, but when I go on sites like these or Reddit, no one mentions these issues and they just focus on how Japan is such a great place, so respectful, nice culture, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love Japan. Living there was the best time of my life, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have serious problems (just like anywhere else I suppose).
And circling back to arranged marriages, when my ex introduced me to his family, they rejected me because I was a foreigner. He tried to fight them over it, but they threatened disowning him if he didn't accept an omiai with someone they seemed worthy. I couldn't handle the drama, so I broke it off and he went through with the marriage.
In my country being gay itself is a sin. So to be honest with this shitty cultur i cant even think about coming out. I mean my people still use a word that is close to "fag" in english instead of "gay" and they dont even know whats wrong with that.
Luckily im blissed with good friends but even storys about peopl who come out to their familys amazes me.i consider my family very open minded compared to what i've seen in my country and i think they will love me no matter what but im sure even if they dont want to the lack lf knowledge and understanding toward lgbt peopl will caus lots of problems for me as long as i live in Iran. So ever since i'v known im not straight i couldnt even imagine my adulthood in this same country.
Omfg lmao this plot reminds me of a friend. She was so nervous to have sex with her boyfriend for the first time, and wanted to make sure she wasn't a dead fish in bed. So, instead of talking to her bf about it, she asked her best friend (girl) and childhood friend (boy) to help her practice for sex... By having sex.
I was so fucking weirded out (at that point I'd only been in Japan 4 months) and I was like "you're cheating???" But to my surprise, none of them considered it as such since "there were no feelings involved" and "she was doing it to make him (bf) happy in bed". As someone who considers cheating (of any form) a dealbreaker in a relationship, it was the first time I'd seen such a tolerant attitude towards infidelity. And the longer I stayed in Japan, the more stories and people I met who had more or less the same views which made it really hard not to generalise the entire country.
That friend and her boyfriend? Yeah, they've been married 3 years now and she just gave birth a few months ago. Want to hear another kicker? Because she's not been feeling well enough for sex after the birth, she's allowed him to visit soaplands so he can get off. Fucking lmao.