beta
Became uncomfortable to read
- her goal is somewhat clear, but her actions are barely present
- she overthinks and drags things on when a topic could've been shortened by more than half
- her feelings and opinions are too wishy-washy, she's not determined when she's supposed to be
overall: story feels like playing with dolls, not inspiring, too much monologuing
Can be nerverecking but should also be comedic & determined (overtime)
and have clear development
Story sidetracks a lot, too many topics = diluted, slow, no climax or compelling obstacle (wasn’t important to the MC)
Revealed his idol's a guy & it gave you the doki? So?
Why not find out the guy you like is the idol & you accept this part of them that they were insecure about?
Idol guy was so skeptical & serious on catch him slipping up, turns out he’s just a goof, then he fcked him..sigh
Romance should be secondary. What are their goals & aspirations?
I dropped this early on around 10 ch cuz without my crying baby boy, this story legit had nothing else to keep me from reading it sadly
girl one day woke up to have noticed she'd slept with a man when she was drunk last night, left, the man followed her, he's cute, left, met him again, it was all fake.
At no point in 10 ch did I fall in love w any character besides him, but his baby face was fake & never appeared again.
I didn't feel anything for the FL or cared what she'll do next.
Gary Stu
Emperor married her, in the past obviously loves her, after spending their night together after getting married, he asked for a divorce cuz it's not what he wanted but his grandpa. Years later after hiding her child, he found her again and questions her: Why did you leave me? Why do you keep on running away? You made my grandma sad apparently. He wants her back despite doing all of that bullshit. She refuses every time. The child comes first, and you'll never be her priority
Terrible introduction: FL sad she can't make any friends at the start of the school year, a guy presents himself, she blew him off..FL is also not in a position to complain abt which club she joins cuz it's required for her grade + past the deadline, Pinky came to her with a club, she blows him off, not even asking what club it is, just blows everyone off, but after pestering & acting cute, he convinces her..She then licked his hand in the club I think..
Overall: idk who she is
meh, interesting world & people's pov
lacks humor & is predictable/mediocre & stereotypical w system
Why does it follow the format of many stories I like, but still lacks?
Solo Leveling: mc worked, got stronger, heart stayed the same
Penelope: villainess' & her story intertwines, she's smart, witty, has personality & experience outside of this game, emotional conntection & experience reading it
both mentally strong, charming facing challenges
meh, MC constantly uncomfortable = not enjoyable, uncomfortable read
also, the goal was not good from the start, not even tied to him as a person
all he does is avoid them, preventing love interests from falling in love with him, instead of the opposite, like trying to win over someone's heart to escape
too heavily focused on Whitey
The whole story world never once resonated w the MC!!
There's no message or story, just a concept that's still in its development stage
Boring title
- Stereotypical badass MC wannabe
- endured for ur late mother? lame excuse
- START w the action, not irrelevant info, late intro @ ch5
- weird narration
- Cons: flat MC, no Emotional Dynamic Change, no excitement or curiosity, we could've wondered if she actually lived up to the rumors around her, feel nervous for her cuz her attitude give ppl reason to dislike her
- Mary Sue & Gary Stu meeting?
- she's more funny aloof but art translation = pretty, but pretty boring
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