(2/7) of being stranded with nobody to rely on, hence why he says ‘mother can no longer save me from this loneliness i’m feeling’. this feeling begins to overwhelm him.
that is until his step brother comes into his life.
while he was being swallowed by this emptiness, his brother
(3/7) was the first one to reach out a hand and offer him assistance which may have caused hikaru to mislead himself into thinking that his attention belongs to him and also gain a dependency on him. hikaru is weak at heart so he may have just flocked to the first person that
(4/7) showed genuine interest in him.
he mistakenly holds the idea that the longing and desire to have devoted attention given to him only was the feeling of love and in order to fulfil his desire, he must make him love him back, which is the reason why he said;
(5/7) ‘say that you love me’ or smth along those lines. he needs that verbal reassurance in order to repress the morals spurring in his mind to render himself unable to label right from wrong and do what he’s going without guilt.
and it is also why he is aggravated when he falls
(6/7) under the assumption that haruki is in relations with that one woman and genuinely breaks down. he cannot bare to lose the deluded affection he believed he once had in his grasp once again.
the ‘love’ and the sexual impulses in this case are the personified embodiment
(7/7) for his need for attention and the fact that he’s so obsessive with haruki to the point where he is unable to control himself whenever he is with him emphasises how powerful that feeling really is.
Messages