Chapters 59-61: Ryan T____T

Cloe900311 July 16, 2018 8:32 pm

What breaks my heart is that sometimes, we think happiness is in our hands, but then it could slip away from us without us knowing... A world without Ryan is unimaginable for the characters: Sihan who has been treated like a son by the elder, Cecilia who has been friends with Ryan for centuries, Lucaon who views Ryan as a trustworthy guardian, and Christoph who was treated with tenderness by Ryan. I feel that living for as long as Ryan did, he's experienced so much in life that he feels ready to die after everyone is in a stable position.

I was saddened by Ryan's monologue of memories fading. I think that happens even more for royal bloods. Royal bloods may appear to live the ideal life because they don't have to worry about running out of time and they're physically stronger and have abilities servants don't. Yet, people don't consider that the older a royal blood is, the lonelier they probably are, including facing the death of loved ones (like Lucaon did with his parents) and ultimately, finding yourself all alone. You lose a purpose to life. If your memories fade, how significant is it to live forever?

I know with ordinary people/servants, memories could fade too, but we may have 'less' memories because of our shorter life years. I personally don't concern myself with that because I believe that we will always remember what is important to us. Even if we can't remember the exact words or chronology of events, we will always remember how we feel. Yet, when Ryan tried to recall going to Cecilia's house where he, Cecilia and Cecilia's mother were present to talk about their arranged marriage + Ryan and Beth's conversation at the end of chapter 61... Ryan seemed sad that he couldn't remember those details. :(( So, I get the feeling that Ryan is ready to pass away, but he just didn't have a reason to die earlier.

This may sound terrible, but in a way, there's this selfish part of me as a reader to hope for more problems (that will get resolved), so Ryan could stay with us longer. Ryan has been such an important and caring guardian, it would break my heart to see him die and then to see Lucaon and Sihan cry. :((

Meeting Ryan has changed Sihan's life forever. If it weren't for Ryan, Sihan wouldn't have become a royal blood and he may have died a long time ago. If not for Ryan's guidance, where would Sihan be today? And it's thanks to Ryan that Lucaon is still alive. Lucaon has already lost his parents and the servants who used to reside in his mansion, so if he loses Ryan, the only person he'll have left is Kyon... But Kyon is a human and will probably die sooner than Lucaon. :/

I'm just so sad. Ryan is only thinking of other people. Ryan believes that if he gets removed from Christoph's memories, then Christoph may have an opportunity to start a new life. Yet, I'm conflicted... I'm partially hoping that Cecilia doesn't do Ryan the favour of removing Christoph's memories, because Ryan symbolizes tenderness and care to Christoph that our young mixed-blood never felt before... Without Ryan, what would happen to Christoph?

There was so much tenderness when Ryan kissed Christoph on the forehead and Christoph blushed. I want more moments like these! I feel like Ryan and Christoph's time together has been short-lived somehow... It breaks my heart to imagine Christoph and Ryan drinking tea together, and Christoph probably thinks more moments like these can happen in the future… ┗( T﹏T )┛And when we saw Ryan kiss Beth on the forehead too... Ryan truly is a tender person. I think Beth loved Ryan and Ryan loved her. Now, I'm just wondering what happened to Beth... Did Beth die naturally, leaving Ryan as the only member of the Chronos family?

I'm surprised Cecilia and Ryan used to be engaged. Cecilia is the head of the Dominus family and is even a grandmother. I'm curious about who Cecilia married x)) Although it's lovely that Cecilia has a family, I hope Ryan doesn't die alone... Maybe Ryan has no plans to get married and have children, but I hope he at least has the people he loves with him if he dies. The way Ryan hugged Cecilia at the end of chapter 60 made me emotional; it was a solid and warm hug. After all, Ryan doesn't know if he'll receive an opportunity like that again... Ryan is grateful for Cecilia’s friendship throughout the years. ┗( T﹏T )┛

It's great that Kyon and Lucaon are happy. I love that cute moment when Kyon had his hand out to catch the petals following from the tree branches, and then Lucaon hugged him from behind. The two smiled and then leaned in for a kiss. ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ And even though Lucaon's anger to Christoph was understandable, I love that Sihan protected Christoph. Like Ryan, I don't blame Christoph either; Christoph was controlled by Intron. I like that Karis is ready to comfort Sihan too, since he told our royal blood that he could say what's on his mind... Lucaon and Sihan having partners probably makes Ryan feel reassured in knowing they won't be alone if he dies. ┗( T﹏T )┛


I sincerely hope that there will be a cure found for Ryan.

Responses
    Karen July 18, 2018 4:30 pm

    Beth is the creator of Intron and the VS solution that killed Lucaon’s parents. Ryan if anything must feel a sense of responsibility and guilt towards Lucaon. We do not know why Beth is a turn coat towards her family. Maybe royal abuse?
    Focus on saint like Ryan being so caring seems callous while ignoring all the zombie like humans that murder and terrorizie the population. What kind of society is this? How and why were the zombies created? Intron perhaps or just artistic license? These privileged Royals live in a airless lonely world and the schism between humans and royals as saint like protectors of society stretches my belief of their saintliness.
    Yes Ryan just likes to include people and that means zombies. Zombies were once human.

    larisa July 19, 2018 8:26 pm

    Your post made me cry

    Cloe900311 July 20, 2018 4:15 am
    Beth is the creator of Intron and the VS solution that killed Lucaon’s parents. Ryan if anything must feel a sense of responsibility and guilt towards Lucaon. We do not know why Beth is a turn coat towards ... @Karen

    Wow, I didn't receive a notification to your response. (⊙…⊙ ) But anyway, here I go: we just started to get our history on the VS solution. We don't know for sure if Beth was the ONLY person who started Intron and then found other people who hated royal bloods like she did. Or did someone approach Beth first to talk about creating an organization that would aim to kill royal bloods? If Beth created Intron, then where did Edwin come from? We don't know Edwin's background either. I can't say for sure what species Edwin is too... Edwin probably isn't a mixed-blood, seeing how Christoph was mistreated because our young blond boy is a mixed-blood. Or, maybe Edwin is a mixed-blood, but both his parents have a higher hierarchy than Christoph's? Is Edwin just a powerful or influential servant?

    We don't know the origin of zeros, indeed. It may sound like I talked about Ryan as a saint, but I don't see him as a perfect angel. I acknowledged that in my next post too -> http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/3265535/ And in one of my responses there, I noted that although Ryan must feel guilty for not stopping the VS solution from advancing, he couldn't have known for sure what would happen in the far future... If Lucaon's great-grandparents were alive when the VS solution was being made, I don't think Ryan specifically envisioned that his friends' future descendants, Lucaon's parents, would die from the VS solution, and that Lucaon could have died too. Ryan also couldn't have predicted centuries ago, that he would love and want to protect Christoph, even though Christoph is the culprit to the Selvior family's tragedy. For now, it seems that centuries ago, Ryan chose to protect Beth, which is why he kept quiet about the VS solution. And because he chose to protect Beth, he allowed his engagement with Cecilia to end, even though that was the perfect opportunity to empower the Chronos family by allying with the Dominus family + to keep the Chronos name and family heritage alive. Even now, Ryan is unmarried without biological children.

    I'm not convinced by your claim that "...Ryan just likes to include people and that means zombies. Zombies were once human." Where did you get the idea that Ryan likes to be inclusive of zeros? Does that mean you think Ryan likes zeros?

    There are royal bloods who are trained as hunters, like Lucaon and Sihan, so yes, there are some royal bloods who try to maintain societal peace. There are also servants who can kill zeros, like Karis who was hired by Sihan because our servant is a qualified hunter. Are the common enemy zeros then, seeing as royal bloods and servants could kill these senseless creatures?

    Cloe900311 July 20, 2018 4:27 am
    Your post made me cry larisa

    You only used five words to demonstrate what I've done. I’m sorry if I made you feel sadder. x( I had a flood of FEELS that I just needed to release. Sometimes, you don't recognize how significant a character is, until you realize their relationships with others; how much they care and what they've done... ┗( T﹏T )┛I want a cure for the VS solution to be found, so Ryan would be saved and no more royal bloods would be harmed in the future. This societal division between royal bloods and servants won't end if the VS solution continues to be a threat. Lucaon, for instance, already learned from his own experience and no longer trusts servants in general.

    seiren July 21, 2018 4:37 pm

    Damn i was reading this shedding tears

    Cloe900311 July 21, 2018 7:34 pm
    Damn i was reading this shedding tears seiren

    I'm sorry if I made you feel sadder. *hugs* Although, I'm grateful to know that there are readers like you who feel the same way I do, and we could talk with each other now and when future chapters arrive. :') If you feel that you want to talk more, you could comment on my next post too -> http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/3265535/ I hope we could stay strong together and continue reading Royal Servant until the end. <33